Where Do Babies Come From?

Jeremy had the flu recently.  He was sick.  Very sick.  So sick that he didn't come out of the bedroom for a full weekend.  I slept on the sofa.  KZ was deeply concerned.  

"Mommy, is Daddy healthy enough for sexual activity?" she asked me.

Want to talk about one of the longest, slow motion seconds of my life.

"No," I replied.

She didn't ask for more, nor did I volunteer more.

Her question wasn't all that bizarre when you consider that we watch Jeopardy together every evening.  Still confused?  Then you must not watch Jeopardy.  One of the main sponsors of Jeopardy is Cialis.  I was just happy that she didn't ask me what an erection was and why we should seek medical attention if it lasted more than four hours. 

KZ has also asked me where babies come from.  She's not blind.  She sees pregnant women.  Then after a few months, she sees the baby.

"There is an egg inside of the mommy that hatches, like a bird's egg while it is still inside the mommy.  When the egg hatches, the baby comes out.  It's like the Curious George or Cat and the Hat cartoons you watch, when they talk about where baby birds and turtles come from," I said. 

 

She got a horrified look on her face and started to sob.  

"Mommy, why did you eat me?"

I had no response to that.  

The experts say that the more a child knows about sex, the less likely they are to make poor choices.  This child knows more at five than I did at ... well, I have no idea.  My cartoons consisted of the Flintstones and Bugs Bunny.  Sesame Street talked to my about my numbers and letters, not about where my baby brother was coming from.  My commercials dealt more with Hamburger Helper than Mr. Happy's Helper.  My mom's version of the sex talk was, "You don't have sex until at least one week after you are married.  You don't want anyone (read her) counting on their fingers to see if you HAD to get married."  I think I'm lucky that I made it to adulthood without having a child. 

I knew it was time for some expert help in this area.  When KZ's school announced they were having a parent lecture on Sex, Drugs and Alcohol, I thought I would sit it.  The school goes to eighth grade, so it wasn't specifically targeted to Kindergarteners.  I got a lot of good recommends regarding books to read with KZ.

We started reading "Amazing You" by Dr. Gail Saltz.  It was clear about identifying all the body parts by their proper names.  I explained how the egg came out of the ovary, and the baby grew in the uterus.  

"Where does the baby come out?"

"Through the vagina," I said.

"But Mommy that area is too small for a baby."

"Yes, but when you get bigger, the vagina will get bigger."

"Mommy, that will still really hurt!"

"Yes, you are correct."  

In one sense, I didn't want to freak her out, but in another, I didn't want to lie to her.

When then went on to the boys page.

"This is a penis," I said.

"Oh Mommy, I know what a penis is.  The boys are always touching theirs."

I can't wait until she reads this book to my mother.