Where Do Babies Come From?

Jeremy had the flu recently.  He was sick.  Very sick.  So sick that he didn't come out of the bedroom for a full weekend.  I slept on the sofa.  KZ was deeply concerned.  

"Mommy, is Daddy healthy enough for sexual activity?" she asked me.

Want to talk about one of the longest, slow motion seconds of my life.

"No," I replied.

She didn't ask for more, nor did I volunteer more.

Her question wasn't all that bizarre when you consider that we watch Jeopardy together every evening.  Still confused?  Then you must not watch Jeopardy.  One of the main sponsors of Jeopardy is Cialis.  I was just happy that she didn't ask me what an erection was and why we should seek medical attention if it lasted more than four hours. 

KZ has also asked me where babies come from.  She's not blind.  She sees pregnant women.  Then after a few months, she sees the baby.

"There is an egg inside of the mommy that hatches, like a bird's egg while it is still inside the mommy.  When the egg hatches, the baby comes out.  It's like the Curious George or Cat and the Hat cartoons you watch, when they talk about where baby birds and turtles come from," I said. 

 

She got a horrified look on her face and started to sob.  

"Mommy, why did you eat me?"

I had no response to that.  

The experts say that the more a child knows about sex, the less likely they are to make poor choices.  This child knows more at five than I did at ... well, I have no idea.  My cartoons consisted of the Flintstones and Bugs Bunny.  Sesame Street talked to my about my numbers and letters, not about where my baby brother was coming from.  My commercials dealt more with Hamburger Helper than Mr. Happy's Helper.  My mom's version of the sex talk was, "You don't have sex until at least one week after you are married.  You don't want anyone (read her) counting on their fingers to see if you HAD to get married."  I think I'm lucky that I made it to adulthood without having a child. 

I knew it was time for some expert help in this area.  When KZ's school announced they were having a parent lecture on Sex, Drugs and Alcohol, I thought I would sit it.  The school goes to eighth grade, so it wasn't specifically targeted to Kindergarteners.  I got a lot of good recommends regarding books to read with KZ.

We started reading "Amazing You" by Dr. Gail Saltz.  It was clear about identifying all the body parts by their proper names.  I explained how the egg came out of the ovary, and the baby grew in the uterus.  

"Where does the baby come out?"

"Through the vagina," I said.

"But Mommy that area is too small for a baby."

"Yes, but when you get bigger, the vagina will get bigger."

"Mommy, that will still really hurt!"

"Yes, you are correct."  

In one sense, I didn't want to freak her out, but in another, I didn't want to lie to her.

When then went on to the boys page.

"This is a penis," I said.

"Oh Mommy, I know what a penis is.  The boys are always touching theirs."

I can't wait until she reads this book to my mother. 

Two Things About Getting Older That Have Taken Me By Surprise

There are two things I never really expected about getting older that have taken me by surprised.

The first thing is that my running has really slowed down.  I know, I’ve heard everyone say that when you get older, you just get slower.  Look at the top scores of any race, and you’ll see that the 20-something group will usually beat the 50-something group.  So, in that respect, sure, I was going to slow down.  But what I didn’t expect was how hard I was going to have to work at it to even maintain my running. 

Back when I ran my first marathon, or even my tenth, I trained by running.  I loved to go to the gym or do yoga if I had time.  But, as the training would intensively, I would cancel all other activity besides running, eating, sleeping, and going to work.  I just didn’t have the time to waste on the luxury of the gym or yoga. 

Then life changed. 

Having KZ later in life really took a bigger toll on my body than I thought.  It wasn’t so much the physical process of having a child, though my hips and waist did expand and will never return, but the challenges that followed.  I wasn’t expecting the massive lack of sleep for years on end.   I wasn’t expecting the lack of support from family and friends.  It wasn’t as if anyone was mean, it was just that we were living in London and the majority of our friends and all of our family were in the States.  I needed a lot of support but was on my own to handle this brave new world.  Hence, I had far less time to workout and was exhausted when I got around to doing it.  The stress didn’t help my diet either. 

The pre-KZ would not have even spoken to the med of today.  We are two totally different people. 

I ran the Disney Marathon, my 31^st marathon, on January 12.  I was training hard, but did back off on the yoga and the gym work even though my coach had it on my training plan.  The yoga I stopped in September when KZ started Kindergarten.  I didn’t have the time to do it in the morning before school, so I just dropped it.  Then I became busy with the running, my homework, and general mom duties that I backed off on the gym.  About a month before Disney, I tore my Achilles while racing on the ice in Central Park.  I couldn’t run for the entire month before the race.  I spent the time on the elliptical or the pool, thinking I was doing everything I could especially during the holiday season.  In my pre-KZ life, this would have been plenty.  I expected to get to the starting line refreshed and “springy” ready to run the sub-four marathon for which I had trained.

Not so. 

I managed to drag my butt across the finish in 4:24:16, a 10:04 pace. 

My doctor and coaches all agreed.  I needed to really focus on my yoga, stretching, and strength work.  I needed to have a strong core, and be flexible.  In the future, they think I’ll need to spend as much time cross training as I would running if I plan to continue to run marathons.  They are estimating two and a half hours a day. 

I am signed up for one more marathon, Big Sur at the end of April.  Jeremy really wanted to do it and signed us both up.  It is very difficult to get into and even harder to complete.  I’ve been told that I can add twenty minutes to my time just because the course is so challenging. 

The truth is, I don’t have to document to the world that I am getting older and slower.  I don’t need to run anther marathon.  I like training for the half distance.  It doesn’t take my life to train for it, and the chance of injury isn’t as great.  I enjoy yoga and the gym, but I also have other priorities now.  I want to be healthy, but I want to have a life, not just a running life.  An hour or so in the gym sounds much more doable than two and a half.

The second thing I never really expected about getting older was that it would happen to me.