Water Play

Yesterday, we went to Carl Schurz Park.  It was a lovely, sunny day in the mid-70's.  The sprinklers were on and all was right with the world. 

Until I sat down. 

No sooner had I started reading my email on the sideline of the water play area, did I see a very tall girl crying to her mom.  The mom then stormed over to KZ.  I saw her pointing and talking down at KZ, all while her much-taller-and-probably-much-older-than-KZ daughter shot KZ with her water gun.  The mom then came by me.

"Sorry, but she was spitting at my daughter, and we cannot have spitting at the park," she said. 

I just looked at this woman.  We are in the water play area.  KZ just turned 5.  KZ was much smaller, and probably younger, than her daughter.  And the girl was shooting KZ with the water gun in the first place.  Since KZ didn't have a water gun, she did the next best logical thing of filling her mouth with water and spitting at the girl.  I was honestly very proud of KZ's ingenuity. 

"My daughter is 4 (so I fibbed a bit).   It's a water park for kids,"  I said to the mother.

What could I say?  This woman had a bully for a daughter. But truly, the mother was a bully, herself. 

When I was a kid, my mother would have never dreamed of fighting my play ground battles.  She would have said something like the following:

"So, did you knock them down?  I bet they wouldn't bother you again if you did." 

or

"Solve it yourself and get out of my hair.  I got dinner to make." 

When KZ came over to me, I said very gently, "You know that girl you were spitting at?" 

She was sad, as if she knew she were in trouble.

"Yes," she answered. 

"You did the right thing by standing up to that bully.  If she ever does it to you again, you go right back and spit at her as hard as you want." 

KZ just glowed. 

"Really?" 

"Yes, honey.  You will never be any bully's target.  I don't want you to bully anyone, but don't you ever take it either." 

I gave her a big hug and kiss and sent her on her way.  I noticed that the bully girl kept on squirting other kids with her gun, but not KZ. 

But I wonder what this Tiger Mom really thought she was doing.  She had three kids there.  I'm sure she runs to her childrens' schools whenever someone sneezes in their general direction.  But what was she going to do when they were in college, or God forbid, got a bad review at work?  Did she think she was helping them by fighting their battles now?  How were they going to learn the self-confidence to trust their own decisions?

I sometimes feel, and felt yesterday, that I should have jumped in and taken that woman on head-to-head.  But really, what would that have looked like?  Two grown women fighting in the middle of the water play area at Carl Schurz Park?  Not something I would have wanted to star in on YouTube.

I pray that KZ knows I have her back, even if I'm not standing right behind her at all times.