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My incredibly wonderful son, Andrew Quainton, was declared brain dead on Christmas Eve. I was with him for three days while recipients were found for his heart, lungs, liver and kidneys. All organs have been accepted for transplant. Andrew was so blessed to have lived in Fairbanks for nine years, and made the most marvelous friends whose outpouring of love is inspiring. Over 100 attended the memorial Friday night, and a summer six-month memorial is planned where all of the family will attend. These are days made blessed by so many memories shared, with laughter and tears and lots of hugs.
Andrew had so many friends here. Angelee and Murray in particular
have been amazing, scooping me up, inviting me to Christmas Day dinner
with their family, organizing the memorial, reading prayers of departure
before Andrew was taken to the OR, driving me to the funeral home,
finding a realtor and probate attorney, and helping in so many other
ways. They have provided my safety net, literally sweeping clear the
path before me. They came back with me from the hospital when all was
done, and we shared stories and laughter, wine and food.
Angelee is putting together a book from the photos shared at
Friday's memorial gathering at Gambardella's along with the letters
people wrote. One of Andrew's friends recorded Murray's and my comments
which I believe will be posted as well. Andrew is coming home with me
and will rest on the soon-to-be-built shelving in the fireplace niches.
What I am calling the Andrew Reliquary is taking shape and would I
think delight him.
Andrew's friends are also organizing a six-month memorial where all
of his family can join his friends in remembering Andrew. Every summer
Andrew set up The Pavilion in the back yard, one of those tents with
the mosquito netting where he would set up 3 chairs, a table, his radio
and books and basically spend the summer once it was warm enough.
People knew to come around to the back yard and he would always be
there. It is a wonderful way to remember him. Before the house is sold
they'll scoop up the tent, chairs, etc. and set up in whomever's yard
unless of course one of his friends buys his house in which case it will
be here.
There were over a hundred people at Andrew's memorial. I spent
ten minutes talking with the mayor, several from the city counsel,
numerous political friends, folks from the museum, the University
Chancellor, a slew of lawyers, the Pride friends, fellow workers at the
Interior AIDS Association, much of the Opera Fairbanks team, and many
from KUAC, the NPR station here which Andrew loved dearly. He was one
of their top donation gatherers during the twice-yearly appeals, where
his encyclopedic knowledge of opera and contemporary classical music
(Philip Glass, Arvo Part, etc.) brought in some of the biggest
donations.
Andrew was inducted into the Art Buswell Society at KUAC and also
won the Spirit Award one year. The Art Buswell pin was on the lamp next
to his bed. I took it to the funeral home yesterday and it will be
with his ashes. I think that would make him very happy.
I have learned about the power of prayer and by extension affirmed
the existence of He who hears prayer. We are so blessed to have a
loving and benevolent God. He also granted my prayer that any damage to
Andrew's organs be healed (there was concern about heart damage). When
the time came, everything was fine and depending on whether there is a
heart/lung transplant or those organs go to separate recipients, four to
five people will have new life. I feel a profound joy in that final
gift.
I am still adjusting to the 3-hour time change, but I have always
loved visiting Andrew during the winter. It is so incredibly beautiful,
but also I missed the -40 temps of a few weeks ago. That isn't fun by
any means. I am also driving here for the first time, and fearlessly
walking on the snow cover. The trees are still flocked from the
snowfall 2 weeks ago as there is very little wind. It truly is a
wonderland.
Cathy
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