Below are my notes from the CityWide Disaster Services Inc. (CDS) Emergency Preparedness Workshop, "What Adults Need to Know and Do to Protect Children from Predators" and "Emergency Two-Way Radio Workshop."
These are my notes and only my notes. I am not speaking for the CDS or the presenter. They did not handout a copy of the presentation. What I have below is from my six pages of handwritten notes. I do hope the information can help people. It is not pretty, but I do feel it is better to be informed than an Ostrich with its head in the sand.
August 12, 2011
CityWide Disaster Services Inc. (CDS) Emergency Preparedness Workshop
Friday, August 12th, 2011 from 10am until 1pm
New York Law School
featured guest speaker: Ms. Donna Christine Gueren, presenting,
"What Adults Need to Know and Do to Protect Children from Predators".
___
A predator can be from ANY walk of life.
Just because a person looks "safe" does not mean they are "safe".
Male predators who abuse boys have an average of 150 victims
Male predators who abuse girls have an average of 52
Only 3% of crimes are ever reported
(Personal Note: I have heard the stats at 1 in 4 girls have been abused and 1 in 6 boys)
90% of the time, the abusers are known to the child
Think First & Stay Safe
http://www.childluresprevention.com/
We have Built-in Sirens
She explains it as how we feel when we hear a fire or police siren. Do we get a sick feeling in our gut? Are we worried, anxious? The body has a built-in siren. If it doesn't feel right, it isn't. (Personal Note: I saw on Oprah where they said, only humans will go into a situation that isn't right. A zebra never walks through the lions.)
Teach children dignity -- we are all different. We are all priceless. There is not enough money to replace us in the world. She used the MasterCard example … value of a child, priceless.
Strangers that your child sees on a daily basis … store clerk, neighbors, doorman, newspaper person, etc. Adults know they are strangers, but kids see us saying "hi", "please", "thank you". The kids start to see them as not being strangers. We have to make sure they know these people are strangers.
People are like weather. It could be a beautiful sunny day at the beach, but storm clouds roll up. The kids don't want to get out of the water, but they can see the clouds coming. People can go from being very nice, to turning around a hurting the child or worse. If the child see the change, don't assume the person is still good (sunny). It is time to run away, as in the stormy weather.
Laws are there to protect children. If someone hurts them, or threatens them, the laws have consequences for that person.
Ten commandments say, "Thou shall not bear false witness." Kids are not to lie about someone hurting them just to get that person in trouble. They need to tell the truth.
Teach Kids "My Body Belongs to ME!" There should be no touching (by them or of them) in the bathing suit area of the body for boys and girls. They don't say "private parts", because depending on the age, the child may not know that term, or may get silly talking about it. This way, all kids know what the bathing suit area is.
No secrets if those secrets make the child feel scared or worried. Some predators/bullies will say things like "If you tell, I'll kill your family." The child doesn't want the family to be killed, so they keep their month shut. She did stress the "no secrets" isn't for everything … like a surprise birthday party. (My note: I heard once that we tell kids not to be tattle tells, but then don't understand why they don't tell us things later. Well, let them be the tattle tell if you want them to tell you things!)
+++++
Lures used by predators (Personal Note: I didn't see an order here, just a list)
- Bribery
- Money
-Toys
- Candy
- Fun and Games
- Online, Technology & Electronics
- Jobs
- Ego, Fame & Fortune
- Friendship/Affection
- Assistance
- Pets
- Authority Figures
- Emergency
- Porn
- Alcohol & Drugs
Bribery -
- Money, toys, electronics, candy, fast food
NO gift is to be kept a secret from parents, ever.
Money -
Free money comes with a price.
Big boy toys -
Remote control cars. Can be used to lure children to the "woods" or secluded part of the park.
Candy -
Jelly beans or drugs? Kids may not know the difference. Also, drugs can be colored or have sugar on them to make them taste like candy. Once a kid is drugged, the predator can do anything they like.
Fun and Games -
- NO Tickle Me Elmo type of game. The predator can use it to "tickle" the child in the bathing suit area.
- NO Twister
- NO cowboys & Indians or cops and robbers.
The child is never to play games where it is ok to be handcuffed or tided up. This is to never be done with an adult. It is also not suggested to be played by children. Many times, if a child is being abused in some way, they start to emulate the same behavior with there friends. This is never acceptable.
Technology and Electronics
- iPhones. Kids love iPhones. They can be lured with anything from letting the child play with the phone to a person asking confused with the maps and asking the child for directions. Kids love the maps and love to show how smart they are using the maps.
- Facebook
1 in 100 people are predators. If a child has 500 "friends" they most likely have 5 predators as friends. Unless the child really knows the person, they should not be FB friends. Many kids want to be popular, so the more friends they have, the more popular they think they are. She stresses that they should be much more selective, telling people that only the best get to be on their site. Examples of abuse come when a person is invited to a party, arrives, but there is no party.
- Be a safe surfer. NO personal information online. NEVER meet anyone without a parent. If two friends show up thinking it's safe, the predator just gets a 2-1 deal from it.
Jobs
A job in the paper, or online, can really just be a lure. If the child shows up for a job interview without the parent, they could be abused. Also, if a neighbor that you kind of knows, asks the child to come cat sit, pick-up mail, etc. this should certainly be watched to make sure it is safe first. The child should always tell the parent before accepting such work. (Personal note: After hearing this, I am now going to be asking all my high school babysitters to let me speak to their parents first. I want to make sure we all know it is a safe environment for everyone.)
Ego, Fame, and Fortune
In the past, ask a kid what they wanted to be when they grew up, they'd say something like doctor, lawyer, cop, but now, they say famous, rich, beautiful. (Personal Note: Sad statement on our society.) The predator can tell the child that they'll land them a modelling job, come over for the photo shoot, or the singing audition, or you get the idea. A lot of time this is not the first contact with the child.
Names on Shirts (Ego) -- a big NO NO
If the child has their name on a shirt, or even something like a baseball team, the predator can start a conversation. If they use the name, it makes the child feel as if they have to know the person, but just cannot remember. It is really all it takes for a four year old.
Friendship/Affection
We all want to be loved and accepted. If a child isn't feeling this, the predator can tell. If a person really loved or respected a child, they wouldn't be touching, asking to be touched, or looking at their bathing suit area.
Exclusion & Bullying Hurt! Predators can pick up on low self-esteem. Think of an animal predator stalking their prey. They go for the weakest link. If a child is bullied, the predator may see this at the school yard, park, where ever the kids hang out. They then can befriend that child usually over a period of time. Predators can see it and prey on it. Report Bullying to Schools. Intolerance is Intolerable.
Assistance
- Take three steps back and run away. Never ever get near a car. Adults should NOT be asking a child for directions, ever.
- If someone is lying on the floor, the child should run away to mommy or daddy (trusted adults) and report it. This is used a lot for the kids to get near, then the person can grab them.
- iPhone maps again.
- If a child tells you this has happened, CALL the police vs. saying that it's ok now.
Pets
- Newborn kittens and puppies. She said she can get an entire class of kindergarten kids to follow her anywhere with a new kitten. Some lures are "Would you like to see my kitten/puppy?", or "Would you help me find my kitten/puppy." and the person lures them away.
Authority Figures
Predators can imitate cops. If a predator sees a kid littering, the predator may say they are an undercover cop and they are arresting the child for littering. Kids get scared and believe it. ALL arrests are to be made by a uniformed officer in a MARKED car. The child should run away.
Predators sometime really are cops, or priests, or authority figures. In this case, the internal siren should go off. The child should still run and not just obey the authority figure.
Emergency
Predator will tell the child that mommy/daddy has been in an accident and that the child should come with them to the hospital. The child is now scared and afraid and follows. You should always have a code word with your child. If the child is abducted and can call you, they can use it. Also, if a person really does need to pick up your child, that person should know the code word or the child should not go with them. In this case the code word is a secret your child should keep.
Porn
Obviously works more with pre-teen/teens, and more with boys than girls. But it is certainly used. No porn should be in a child's environment, ever. It is illegal for ages 17 and under. Period.
Alcohol & Drugs
Kids may feel grown-up or cool, but they lose control over their bodies. Many cases of date rape, or other abuses.
Sober=Safe
+++++
No weapons, no exceptions.
Tell parent or teacher immediately.
No threats, No kidding.
All should be reported.
Child should always report an abuse. If the first adult doesn't believe them, then they should go to a second, third, fourth, etc. until someone listens. It is the adults responsibly to act, and report the crime.
Websites she suggested,
http://www.crime-safety-security.com/
www.childluresprevention.com (Personal Note: This is the company she works with)
CDS Emergency Two-Way Radio Workshop
This workshop was also interesting. Sure, I didn't think that I needed two-way radio training, but I did find myself presenting the material to my daughter's school that very afternoon.
The CDS System connects all the city's services … fire, police, EMS, 911. It is actually faster than 911 to report an incident. The CDS System was the only one that did not go down on 9/11. And if you think your cell phone can do this, well, just think of all your dropped calls, or when people cannot hear you.
Besides feeling that this is something that every school needs, I learned how to identify a "situations" to the dispatcher faster. For example, if you see a crime committed, and the person runs away, don't tell the dispatcher, "They were wearing a read shirt and khaki pants." You have now just described everyone who works at Target. Focus on things that do not change, such as skin color, hair color, height, weight, sex. Glasses and clothes can be changed and discarded immediately, and usually are.
Also, in scribing a car, remember that you usually are only seeing three quarters of the car. No visible damage, doesn't mean no damage. Try to remember you angle. Car make, model, color, license plate (at least color if you can't get the number.) All letter should be said as a work such as Alpha Beta for AB.
I did feel this session was worth my time. If I ever do need to call 911 or a similar service, I'll have a better idea of what to report.
No comments:
Post a Comment